08-14-2002, 11:59 PM
What is 150 yards long and eats potatoes? A Moscow queue waiting to buy meat.
What did the Soviet people light their houses with before they started using candles? Electricity.
Heard in a Russian department store: Customer: Don't you have any shoes here? Salesman: No, we don't have any furniture, here. No shoes is one floor down.
Little Boy:
What will communism be like when perfected?
His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.
LB: But what if there is a shortage of meat?
HF: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, "No one needs meat today."
A ranking politburo member is touring the farmlands in the country to see how this year's potato crop is coming. He approaches a farmer and asks him, "Comrade farmer, how large will the potato harvest be this year?"
The farmer replies, "The potato harvest this year will be so large that it will reach into the heavens!"
The politburo member states, "Comrade farmer, need I remind you that government policy states that there is no god, so therefore, there can be no heaven!"
Says the farmer with a big sigh, "Ah, comrade politburo member, I suppose you are right. And it is just as well...because this year there will be no potatoes."
What did the Soviet people light their houses with before they started using candles? Electricity.
Heard in a Russian department store: Customer: Don't you have any shoes here? Salesman: No, we don't have any furniture, here. No shoes is one floor down.
Little Boy:
What will communism be like when perfected?
His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.
LB: But what if there is a shortage of meat?
HF: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, "No one needs meat today."
A ranking politburo member is touring the farmlands in the country to see how this year's potato crop is coming. He approaches a farmer and asks him, "Comrade farmer, how large will the potato harvest be this year?"
The farmer replies, "The potato harvest this year will be so large that it will reach into the heavens!"
The politburo member states, "Comrade farmer, need I remind you that government policy states that there is no god, so therefore, there can be no heaven!"
Says the farmer with a big sigh, "Ah, comrade politburo member, I suppose you are right. And it is just as well...because this year there will be no potatoes."
